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ONLINE DATING ADVICE
(c)
Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do
you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours
to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills
and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit
www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll
find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love
magnet(tm)!
Do You Care Too Much
to be Loved?
You
would think being too caring and giving in a relationship is a good thing,
a desirable thing. If you gave your partner too much, cared about him or
her too much, you would want to be thanked, be appreciated for it, wouldn't
you?
Unfortunately, giving too much or caring too much in a relationship makes
your partner appreciate you less rather than more. The more you care and
give, the more likely your partner is to think you need him or her more than
he or she needs you. And the more likely your partner will think of you as
a doormat who will do anything to please.
If you care too much and do too much, you likely feel taken for granted and
not cared about much. You are often the one people leave behind, the one
left wondering what went wrong.
I am not saying some giving and some caring in a relationship is bad. But
doing too much of either will likely lead to you being alone.
How much is too much? Take this assessment and find out if you are giving
too much and if you care too much in your relationship.
Choose statements that best describe you.
-
Your significant
other is struggling financially. You:
A. Ask him/her to
move in with you
B. Give him/her money to help
C. Loan him/her money with an agreed upon payment date
D. Offer lots of emotional and moral support
-
You bring presents,
flowers, cards, etc. for your significant other on the following occasions:
A. Every time you see him/her
B. Most times you see him/her
C. On very special occasions, and some made up special occasions
D. For major holidays, plus a few other special times
-
Your significant
other is feeling overwhelmed with life/responsibilities/work. You support
him/her by:
A. Moving in and attempting to carry most of his/her load
B. Cleaning his/her house, cooking for his/her family, or taking on other
household or childcare responsibilities
C. Agreeing to take on some responsibilities for a short period of time,
while another plan is being formulated
D. Helping him/her figure out how to restructure life/work/family so that
the load is lessened
-
Your significant
other has just forgotten an important occasion or has done something
inconsiderate. You deal with this by:
A. Saying absolutely nothing - you do not want to hurt his/her feelings
B. Bringing the incidents up only during a fight, as ammunition. Otherwise,
you would rather not take a chance at hurting his/her feelings
C. Bringing up the incident and sharing how it made you feel
D. Bringing up the incident and talking about why it turned out this way
-
5. You care about
your significant other and want to make sure the two of you have enough time
together. You try to arrange your schedule so that you can:
A. Spend every available moment with him/her
B. Spend every night together with him/her
C. Spend a few weekday nights and the weekend together
D. Spend a mutually agreed upon amount of time together
What this assessment reveals about you:
-
If you primarily
picked "A"s, you give and care much too much. Back off emotionally or you
may find yourself alone again and again. Instead channel all that wonderful
giving energy into volunteer work.
-
If you primarily
picked "B"s and you are dating, you are caring and giving too much. Find
another outlet, creative or service oriented. However, if you are married
or in a very long-term relationship, your level of giving/caring is right
on target.
-
If you primarily
picked "C"s, you are in the average/healthy range of caring and giving. Try
improving your communication to drastically improve your relationship.
-
If you primarily
picked "D"s, congratulations. You seem to be in a very healthy, thriving
relationship, where the two of you can communicate your needs and wants.
What to do if
you care and give too much:
After this article,
you may be convinced you need to curb your giving, but you may not be able
to do it. Try this: every time you feel like overdoing it in your relationship,
give to charity or volunteer.
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
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How Would You Like to Finally Find a
Solution
to Your Lack Of Manly Power Both in Your Life
and in Your Relationships and Your Dating Arena?
Are you tired of the women in your life
always holding the power? Are you tired of being a really, really Nice Guy,
and constantly being 'punished' for it by being rejected, walked over, or
taken for granted?
If you're a man, be it a self-proclaimed "nice-guy"
or a self-appointed "bastard" you probably caught yourself nodding your head
in agreement when you read the above headline.
"....constantly being
'punished' for it by being rejected,
walked over, or taken for granted..."
Heck,
as a man I know I did at one time. I have to admit I was a "non-bastard".
A "down-to-earth, always respectful of women, will always give in to make
the woman happy - nice friggin' guy", who had absolutely zero power in
my relationships and with women.
>>Read more
here! |